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Single parenthood and the double standard

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In the 1950s, when unmarried men and women became parents, the double standard stigmatized women more than men. With the rise in egalitarianism and approval of sex outside of marriage, however, attitudes may have changed so that people view unmarried parenthood by men and women similarly or even stigmatize men. This paper contributes to studies of single parenthood by examining acceptance of unmarried parenthood for men versus women. Using data from the National Survey of Families and Households (1992-1994), we show that there is somewhat greater acceptance of single mothers than single fathers, and women are more accepting than men of single mothers. There is some indication that there may be greater approval over time, given that younger individuals and those who experienced family disruption as children are more accepting of single parenthood. However, there is great variation in attitudes by race, religious participation, and region.

Keywords: attitudes, gender, single fathers, single mothers

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Amid the tremendous growth in single parent families, the number of single father families is growing even faster than single mother families. In 2000, single father families comprised one in six single parent families compared to one in ten in 1970 (Fields & Casper, 2001). While most single parent families are the result of divorce or separation, a significant proportion of these families are the result of nonmarital childbearing. Indeed, 43% of single mothers and 34% of single fathers have never been married (Fields & Casper, 2001).

Although a majority of people disapproved of unmarried mothers as recently as the late 1980s (Trent & South, 1992), there is clearly greater support for nonmarital childbearing than in the past (Barich & Bielby, 1996; Pagnini & Rindfuss, 1993). People are less likely to think that nonmarital childbearing is damaging to the social order (Axinn & Thornton, 2000) and more likely to think that it is "doing one's own thing" (Thornton & Young-DeMarco, 2001). Teenage boys choose single motherhood as the best option for unmarried pregnant girls above marrying the father, having an abortion, or adoption (Ku, Sonenstein, Lindberg, & Bradner, 1998). Axinn and Thornton (2000) expect that, as nonmarital births increase, attitudes toward nonmarital childbearing will continue to become more positive.

There is no research that examines attitudes toward unmarried parenthood separately for men and women, nor is there research that looks at attitudes toward unmarried fatherhood. It is important to study attitudes toward unmarried fatherhood as well as unmarried motherhood given the increase in these families and the continued existence of gendered expectations. For example, single fathers may be seen as incompetent if they are living with their children, or irresponsible if they are not, producing a more negative image of single fathers than single mothers. On the other hand, men who do well raising children on their own may be given more credit than women simply because initial expectations are low. There is still debate over the characterization of fatherhood versus motherhood in our society. Coltrane (1996) suggests that "the line between fathering and mothering is beginning to blur" (p. 5) as men take on more responsibilities that have traditionally been associated with mothers. Indeed, the evidence suggests that "men can mother" (Risman, 1998). Most single fathers are quite comfortable with their ability to provide child care (Greif, 1985), and studies of single fathers show that they are quite similar to single mothers in their interactions with children (Hall, Walker, & Acock, 1995; Risman, 1998). However, nonresident fathers (whether divorced or never married) are routinely characterized as "deadbeats" or "bad dads" (Furstenberg, 1988) who rarely visit and more rarely pay, although careful studies show that divorced men, at least, pay regularly and frequently overcome bartiers erected by their former wives to maintain their relationships with their children (Braver & O'Connell, 1998), a finding that may fuel the fatherhood movement (Horn, Blankenhorn, & Pearlstein, 1999).

This paper examines the determinants of attitudes toward unmarried fatherhood in comparison with unmarried motherhood. Using data from the 1992-1994 wave of the National Survey of Families and Households (NSFH), we are able to compare the attitudes of men and women toward single mothers and fathers. In our analysis, we also focus on whether the data suggest future increases in approval, as Axinn and Thornton (2000) suggest. We examine the effects of age, education, and childhood family structure as indicators of future change in attitudes and control as well for the major axes of heterogeneity likely to affect such attitudes toward men and women having children outside marriage: race/ethnicity, religion, region, and marital/parental status.

BACKGROUND

Although premarital sex and nonmarital births were not uncommon during the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, the connection between marriage and childrearing has recently weakened dramatically. In addition, gender roles have continued to change, moving from a strict division of labor enacted in separate spheres in nineteenth-century middle-class families to a situation in which women and men's roles became more entangled (Coontz, 1992). By the 1980s, men's relationship to family responsibilities had become more focused on involved fathering (LaRossa, 1988), although there has remained some sense of ambiguity in conceptualizing fatherhood (Griswold, 1993). Nevertheless, men born as late as the mid-1950s mostly continued to see marriage and fatherhood, along with job and house, as a package deal (Townsend, 2002) to be achieved together. Indeed, Townsend found that the men in his study did not typically consider single parenthood as a possibility but rather felt that "paternity depends on the cooperation of women" (p. 82). In this view, men would only become single fathers as a result of maternal abandonment or death.

Hence, when women become unmarried parents, it is more likely to be the result of their choices than it is for men. Women are far more likely than men to make the decision to divorce (Sweeney, 1997). Unmarried women, but not men, can decide whether to carry a pregnancy to term, making the decision about whether to become mothers, themselves, and also whether their partners should become fathers (Marsiglio, 1998). Single women who choose to become single mothers are normally those who feel that they are emotionally and financially secure (Bock, 2000), and they often experience support from their friends and families (Mannis, 1999). Single men who want children have few options outside of marriage. Nevertheless, some single men would like more power in the decision-making process of their pregnant sex partners (Marsiglio, 1998) or, at least, the right given to women to escape the consequences of an unwanted pregnancy (Goldscheider, 2000).

Does the fact that women can choose to be unmarried parents in a way that most men cannot translate into greater approval of single motherhood than single fatherhood? We think so, and we expect that both men and women will be more approving of single mothers than single fathers. It seems likely that many assume that a woman who bears a child out of wedlock has chosen to assume the full responsibilities of parenthood rather than abort, whereas the men who become unmarried parents are assumed to be imprudent at best and irresponsible at worst. Studies support this difference, as women are less likely than men to emphasize traditional family values linking marriage and parenthood (Amato, 1988; Thornton, 1985) while men, in contrast, prefer marriage to remaining single (Thornton & Freedman, 1982). Specifically, young women are somewhat more likely than young men to view unmarried childbearing in a positive light (Thornton & Young-DeMarco, 2001). While this general pattern would suggest that women will be more approving of single mothers than men, it seems likely that men will also be more approving of single fathers than women. Men's movements that focus on fathers' rights argue that men should have the right to be single fathers (Messner, 2000), and some argue that fathers are necessary because they are more likely than mothers to teach their children skills such as competitiveness (Popenoe, 1996). Therefore, men may increasingly focus on their rights and abilities as fathers.

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